My Internal Paradox

How typical would it be to begin with an "I" or a "you"?
And how strange would it be if I could find the words I actually mean,
to tell you how you´re in my dreams...

But I can´t succeed.
I can´t fight to sing words
I could never speak.
It´s so hard to let go of a memory
which could never be held onto.

I´m so weary of not being able to stand up,
for it´s so difficult to erase the ghost of a touch
which I never felt.

I´m so confused from knowing
exactly what I want,
and still I know
that if I had never known you,
I couldn´t have loved you less.

It is impossible that you would know
something which was so clear.

You seem so close...
If only I could reach
I could touch you face,
your fadind grace,
you seem so faint,
you start to fade,
I turn away.

Silly as it is,
I ask the rain to wash away a feeling.
A feeling I could never show,
for I cannot yet see.

I can´t keep clinging to something
which was never in my hands,
can´t forget that which,
for the life of me, I can´t remember.

How can I wilt,
when never was I allowed a chance to blossom?
How can grow hate,
when love was never harvested?
How will I give away
a smile which was never mine to keep?

And yet I must face
a shapeless reality
in which I need you to know
how very much I need you to go...

But you were never here,
and I can´t heal
a wound which never blead.

Unfeeze my tender heart.
Unlock my open wings.
I´m such a huge part of something
that doesn´t even exist.

Dedicated to the person who inspired this piece,
who will never know how much he forced me to grow.
Thank you

Autumn Leaves

The falling leaves

drift by the window.

The autumn leaves of red and gold.

I see your lips,

the summer kisses.

The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away

the days grow long.

And soon Ill hear

old winters song

But I miss you most of all,

my darling,

When autumn leaves start to fall

Cest une chanson,

qui nous ressemble.

Toi tu maimais

et je taimais

Nous vivions tous,

les deux ensemble.

Toi que maimais

moi qui taimais.

Mais la vie spare ceux qui saiment

Tout doucement

sans faire de bruit

Et la mer efface sur le sable

les pas des amants dsunis

(Jacques Prvert, Johnny Mercer, Joseph Kosma)