My Internal Paradox

How typical would it be to begin with an "I" or a "you"?
And how strange would it be if I could find the words I actually mean,
to tell you how you´re in my dreams...

But I can´t succeed.
I can´t fight to sing words
I could never speak.
It´s so hard to let go of a memory
which could never be held onto.

I´m so weary of not being able to stand up,
for it´s so difficult to erase the ghost of a touch
which I never felt.

I´m so confused from knowing
exactly what I want,
and still I know
that if I had never known you,
I couldn´t have loved you less.

It is impossible that you would know
something which was so clear.

You seem so close...
If only I could reach
I could touch you face,
your fadind grace,
you seem so faint,
you start to fade,
I turn away.

Silly as it is,
I ask the rain to wash away a feeling.
A feeling I could never show,
for I cannot yet see.

I can´t keep clinging to something
which was never in my hands,
can´t forget that which,
for the life of me, I can´t remember.

How can I wilt,
when never was I allowed a chance to blossom?
How can grow hate,
when love was never harvested?
How will I give away
a smile which was never mine to keep?

And yet I must face
a shapeless reality
in which I need you to know
how very much I need you to go...

But you were never here,
and I can´t heal
a wound which never blead.

Unfeeze my tender heart.
Unlock my open wings.
I´m such a huge part of something
that doesn´t even exist.

Dedicated to the person who inspired this piece,
who will never know how much he forced me to grow.
Thank you